"And miles to go" Bishop Nienstedt's Pastoral Letter (English and Español)

Highlights - Diocesan Pastoral Council Meeting - October, 2004

Bishop Lucker Lecture to focus on the culturally diverse communities

Official Appointments

Nominations sought for 2005 Diocesan Distinguished Service Award

Diocese of New Ulm Quinquennial Report 1998-2003 - A GLIMPSE OF THE PAST

Interested in a good play or inspirational concert? Parishes in diocese offer both

Fighting hunger in Sleepy Eye, MN - 69,246 meals prepared for the world's hungry

St. Peter, Canby students know first hand the power of prayer

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Passing on our Catholic heritage

Published author to address DCCW spring convention

Litchfield students take part in a pilgrimage through the diocese

Nearly 500 in attendance at Children's Holy Field Trip

Good News TV & Radio November

November Formation & Education Calendar

Bishop's  November Calendar

Survey finds lifelong support for marriage emphasized in Catholic Church

Washington - Lifelong support for marriage is a key effort for parishes and dioceses in the United States , according to a survey conducted by the U.S. Bishops' Committee on Marriage and Family Life. The survey, which looked at diocesan efforts in 2003, found Catholics nationwide involved in preparation for marriage programs, post-marriage enrichment programs, celebrations of special anniversaries and workshops to address troubled marriages.

The survey drew its findings from a study of 129 (66%) of the nation's 195 dioceses and eparchies. It also included data from three national groups: Catholic Engaged Encounter, Worldwide Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille.

According to the survey, virtually all dioceses require some form of marriage preparation. Only two of the 130 dioceses surveyed did not have a policy governing this. According to figures reported in The Official Catholic Directory, there were 177,825 couples married in the Catholic Church in 2003 in those 130 dioceses. The survey also found that some 81 percent of couples (144,054) took part in a marriage preparation program that same year. This number represents a combination of totals reported by diocesan programs and by Catholic Engaged Encounter, which operates in 121 dioceses.

Survey organizers surmised that the actual percentage of couples attending pre-marriage programs is much higher than reported.

The survey did not gather data on couples who might have participated in a parish-sponsored marriage preparation program, or one offered in military or campus chaplaincies. Also not included in the totals are some couples who were excused from programs because of special circumstances, or who were entering into second marriages, or having the convalidation, or blessing, of a marriage previously performed outside the church.

The survey found that marriage preparation programs may consist of anywhere from one to 12 sessions. The average number of hours a couple spends in a program is 12. Sessions typically involve interviews with a parish priest or deacon, educational presentations and discussions with married couples who serve as leaders and mentors, and the opportunity for a couple to plan the readings, prayers, and music they will use in their wedding ceremony. Most marriage preparation programs also use a pre-marital inventory which gives the engaged couple a profile of their areas of agreement and disagreement.

Ongoing marriage education is offered in more than 70 dioceses, the survey found. Some couples also attend programs in their local parish. A cumulative total of 14,289 couples participated in 72 diocesan programs aimed at helping couples renew their relationships and in some cases reconcile when a marriage is about to fail. In addition to programs offered by dioceses, another opportunity was offered by Worldwide Marriage Encounter, a weekend renewal experience led by a team of married couples and a priest. In 2003, Worldwide Marriage Encounter served 10,989 couples with programs in English, Spanish and Korean.

Retrouvaille, the church ministry geared towards troubled marriages, reported working with 5,000 couples in 2003. Retrouvaille, which means rediscovery, is in 40 states currently.

Bishop Kevin Boland of Savannah , Georgia , Chairman of the U.S. Bishops' Marriage and Family Life Committee, said support for marriage is one of the most important ministries in the Church.

"We are trying to build a continuum of ministry for couples in order to give them both encouragement and the tools they need to grow and thrive in all stages of their marriage," he said.

Frequently Asked Questions about Marriage

1. Why does the church teach that marriage is a sacrament?

The sacraments make Christ present in our midst. Like the other sacraments, marriage is not just for the good of individuals, or the couple, but for the community as a whole. The Catholic Church teaches that marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament. The Old Testament prophets saw the marriage of a man and woman as a symbol of the covenant relationship between God and his people. The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment between God and his people. The Letter to the Ephesians says that this union is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church.

2. Do Catholics ever validly enter into non-sacramental marriages?

Yes. Marriages between Catholics and non-Christians, while they may still be valid in the eyes of the church, are non-sacramental. With permission, a priest or deacon may witness such marriages.

3. What is the difference between a valid and an invalid Catholic marriage?

Just as individual states have certain requirements for civil marriage (e.g., a marriage license, blood tests), the Catholic church also has requirements before Catholics can be considered validly married in the eyes of the Church. A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children; and (4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by church authority.

4. If a Catholic wants to marry a non-Catholic, how can they assure that the marriage is recognized by the church?

In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage (see question #3), the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this permission is called a "permission to enter into a mixed marriage." If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called a "dispensation from disparity of cult." Those helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with the permission process.

5. Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church?

For Catholics, marriage is not just a social or family event, but a church event. For this reason, the church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.

6. When a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, must the non-Catholic promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith?

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

7. What should a couple do when they decide that they want to marry in the Catholic Church?

They should contact their parish as soon as possible and make an appointment to talk with the priest, deacon or staff person who is responsible for preparing couples for marriage. This person will explain the process of marriage preparation and the various programs that are offered.

8. Why does the church require engaged couples to participate in a marriage preparation program?

Marriage preparation offers couples the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples to deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.

9. What key issues are covered in marriage preparation?

Marriage preparation programs help couples to understand the Christian and the human aspects of marriage. Typical topics include: the meaning of marriage as a sacrament; faith, prayer and the church; roles in marriage; communication and conflict resolution; children, parenthood and Natural Family Planning; finances; and family of origin.

10. Does the church offer any programs to help couples to improve their marriage?

Yes. Peer ministry for married couples is widespread. Throughout the country, many couples participate in Marriage Encounter (www.wwme.org), which offers a weekend experience and ongoing community support.

11. What can a couple do if their marriage is in trouble?

Parish priests, deacons and other pastoral ministers are available to talk to couples and to refer them to counselors and programs that can assist them. Retrouvaille (Ree-tru-VEYE) (www.retrouvaille.org) is an effective program that helps to heal and renew marriages in serious trouble.

12. What is an annulment?

An annulment is a declaration by a tribunal (Catholic church court) that a marriage thought to be valid according to church law actually fell short of at least one of the essential elements required for a binding union (see question #3). Unlike civil divorce, an annulment does not erase something that was already there, but rather it is a declaration that a valid marriage was never actually brought about on the wedding day. A declaration of nullity does not deny that a relationship ever existed between the couple, or that the spouses truly loved one another.

13. How can a couple married 20 years get an annulment?

The annulment process examines the events leading up to, and at the time of, the wedding ceremony, in an effort to determine whether what was required for a valid marriage was ever brought about. While a marriage of 20 years provides evidence that a couple had some capacity for a life-long commitment, the duration of their relationship in itself does not prove or negate the existence of the marriage bond.

14. If a marriage is annulled are the children from it considered illegitimate?

No. A declaration of nullity has no effect on the legitimacy of children, since the child's mother and father were presumed to be married at the time that the child was born.

15. How long does it take to get an annulment?

It usually takes 12 to 18 months to complete the entire process.

For additional Frequently Asked Questions About Marriage visit www.usccb.org/laity/marriage.

October 07, 2004 Copyright (c) by United States Conference of Catholic Bishops

Marriage Program Opportunities

Marriage Preparation: (Cost: $75 per couple)

The New Ulm Diocesan Marriage Preparation Program is designed specifically for engaged couples to enable them to explore and strengthen their relationship. Upcoming programs will be held:

February 5, 2005      March 5, 2005

March 19, 2005      April 9, 2005

May 7, 2005      September 10, 2005

Preparation for Second Marriage (Remarriage in the Church)

(Cost: $100 per couple)

This program is designed exclusively for couples contemplating or preparing for second marriages. Upcoming programs will be held:

April 2, 2005      September 24, 2005

*To register for the above diocesan programs contact the New Ulm Diocesan Office of Family Life, 1400 6th Street North , New Ulm, MN 56073; (507) 359-2966; e-mail: cloetscher@dnu.org.

Marriage Encounter Weekends:

November 19-21, 2004 in Mankato February 11-13, 2005 in Windom

April 1-3, 2005 in Winona (tentatively)

*For more information or to register for a weekend, contact Jeff and Rondi Kodet, (507) 644-3523; e-mail: jrek@redred.com; website: www.wwme.org

Retrouvaille:

For further information call (651) 464-5855 or (800) 470-2230; www.retrouvaille.org/tcr.htm