Pay attention

by Chris Loetscher

"Tell me what you pay attention to, and I’ll tell you who you are."

- Ortega y Gasset

I have never witnessed an instant cure or a sudden transformation. I’ve never been to Lourdes or Medjugorje. I’ve never seen a statue move or an icon weep. The Holy Shroud of Turin is of no consolation to me. I’ve never heard secret voices urging me to do this or that. Neither sea nor sky has ever parted for me. I do not have any strange powers. I have no awareness of being touched by an angel. I have never smelled sulfur or smoke where there was no fire.

I’ve eaten around 50,000 meals. I’ve slept - not always peacefully-through 19,000 nights, and I’ve awakened - not always gratefully -to 19,000 mornings. I’ve known the comforts and sorrows of home - the one I was born to, the one I help to make. I know the havoc that an addiction can cause. I have frightened those closest to me with my anger. I have known the pleasures and responsibilities of friendship. I’ve lived in community. I have fallen in love. I have made love with one woman only. I have witnessed the births of five children. I have kept watch with the dying. I have wept.

I have mowed lawns, tended gardens, bagged groceries, trimmed trees, moved furniture, sold nuts and bolts, painted houses, stripped and waxed floors, cleaned rest rooms and locker rooms, tutored teenagers, worked at a summer camp for inner-city children, taught in high schools, worked in parishes, sought justice, served on committees and boards, made repairs, kept things moving along, and puttered around the edges.

I have slept under the stars in the Rocky Mountains. I have fallen from a cliff and feared, before losing consciousness, that I would die. I have taken delight in music and poetry. I have studied hard. I have wasted lots of time. I have sung the Exultet at the Easter Vigil. I have made an impression. I have been a big disappointment. I have risen to the occasion. I have fallen short.

Through all the hours of my life, God is the one who is always present: the witness, the creator of all that is good, the maker of possibilities, the one who sets life and death before me, companion, beggar, stranger, fire, light and shadow, morning, noon and night, breath, fragrance, hunger, salt, the cup of cold water - slaking my thirst, or in my face suddenly like a slap! - common and uncommon bread, the hidden singer, the cry and whisper, the silence, rain, desire, dread, the Christ, abiding mercy.

The poet Karl Shapiro addresses our "immigrant God." "You follow me," he says. "You go with me; You are a distant tree; You are the beast that lows in my heart’s gates; You are the dog that follows at my heel; You are the table on which I lean; You are the plate from which I eat."

"Lord, when did we see you and fail to respond to you?" Pay attention! In the Eucharist, under the humble appearances of ordinary bread and wine, the Lord of Creation is really presented to us, as food and drink, uniting us with God and one another, making us one Body. The Eucharist constantly reminds us that in the humble circumstances of daily life - in marriage and family living, work, leisure, community life -God is present. Take heed. Live in gratitude and wonder.

Tell me. What do you pay attention to? I’ll tell you who you are.