Lessons from Mom school

by Msgr. Thomas J. McSweeney

You probably recognize these as classic Mom lines. You have probably noticed that it makes no difference what cultural background or generation to which you belong. Some things just transcend personal differences. You could be in a grocery store or walking down the street and suddenly you hear a conversation between mother and youngster that transports you to your own childhood.

I don’t quite understand it, but it’s almost as though a new mother wakes up with a baby in her arms and sounding as though she just got an ‘A’ in Mom Talk 101. And, yes, dads often say the same things, and even have a few lines of their own. But there is still something about the way Mom says it . . .

My favorite: I don’t care if everybody’s doing it. If everybody jumped off a cliff, would you do that, too?

Many mothers and fathers are legitimately concerned that peer pressure makes it too hard for their sons and daughters to resist going along with the crowd. After all, more than a few adults can’t seem to help trying to keep up with those Joneses. Nobody ever said moms and dads have all the answers.

Speaking as a person who sees parenting only from a distance, it still strikes me that among the many things moms and dads have to worry about, encouraging youngsters to value their uniqueness and to think for themselves has to be high on the list. This is not to be confused with an "I’ve got to be me" attitude which can make individuality synonymous with insensitivity and selfishness. Unfortunately, some people in every generation feel that way, whatever they call it.

No. I am talking about two things: first, appreciating and using the God-given qualities that make us what we are; second, exercising our intellects to form critical judgments rather than merely accepting others’ opinions. These things are not easy. Building a keen sense of self-worth that allows us to stand up for ourselves and our beliefs without trampling on the rights of others can be a challenge. Going that extra step in getting both reason and conscience to be our guides demands even more. It calls for character. And after parents have taken care of the basics of food, clothing and shelter, nothing is as necessary as developing a child’s character.

Let me share a Chinese proverb that says a lot about the importance of what parents do: "If you are planning for one year, grow rice. If you are planning for twenty years, grow trees. If you are planning for centuries, grow individuals."

If you want to see the face of the future, you’re looking at it every time you say: Don’t forget your lunch; pick up your clothes; do I look like a maid?; Because I say so, that’s why.

Happy Mother’s Day!