Diocesan Marriage Preparation Policy recently updated

The Marriage Preparation Policy for the Diocese of New Ulm has recently been updated. The policy underscores the local Church’s responsibility to assist engaged couples in their preparation for sacramental marriage, by:

• building on their love and good will,
• helping them discern their readiness and capacity for sacramental marriage,
• providing catechesis regarding marriage and family life, and
• calling them to the dignity, joys and responsibilities of sacramental marriage.

The policy urges engaged couples to begin their formal preparation for marriage at least six months before their wedding date, and indicates steps that are part of that preparation:

• the initial interview with the pastor or pastoral administrator to determine the couple’s freedom to marry and to explain the preparation procedure,
• administration and discussion of a premarital inventory (e.g., FOCCUS or PMI);
• pastoral preparation of the couple,
• participation in an approved marriage preparation program (this should be completed at least thirty days prior to the wedding date),
• announcement in the parish bulletin of the couple’s intention to marry;
• completion of the necessary pre-nuptial forms,
• liturgical preparation for the wedding,
• encouragement to receive the sacrament of reconciliation, and the sacrament of confirmation if it has not been received,

The policy also outlines pastoral practice for couples in special circumstances.

The directives regarding cohabitation are stronger than in past policy. Today, approximately half the couples preparing for marriage in the Catholic Church are in a cohabiting relationship and pastoral leaders must clearly indicate that living together in a sexual relationship without marriage violates the Church’s teaching about sexual love and marriage.

According to the policy, "it must be stated unambiguously that cohabitation is not marriage and is not appropriate preparation for marriage. Marriage as a sacra-mental state of life requires serious, prayerful preparation. Cohabitation short-circuits that preparation. Cohabitation is a source of scandal to the believing community, and is associated with a number of attitudes, characteristics and experiences that jeopardize future marital stability. However it surfaces, cohabitation should be discussed early in the marriage preparation process, in a manner that is not confrontational or condemnatory, but in a way that respectfully challenges the couple with the gospel message of commitment and faithfulness. The cohabiting couple should be encouraged to reflect on their situation and why they decided to cohabit, and the couple should consider possible consequences-factors that may present special challenges to them or put them at risk for future marital disruption. In most cases, a cohabiting couple should be asked to separate for the six month period before marriage. A pastoral leader should be able to postpone the wedding (not deny the marriage) until this issue is resolved."

The aim of the whole policy is to promote the dignity of sacramental marriage wherein God calls a man and woman to be a sign of God’s faithful, enduring, and life-giving love for the Church and for the world. Couples who enter sacramental marriage promise to love each other faithfully, until death parts them; and they express an openness to cooperate with God in giving life and love to children. Sacramental marriage is also a call to service; in addition to serving the good of spouses and children, it serves the good of society and the Church.

If you have questions about the policy, contact Chris Loetscher, Director of the Family Life Office for the Diocese of New Ulm, 1400 6th Street North, New Ulm, MN 56073; (507) 359-2966.