And
miles to go
by Bishop John C. Nienstedt
The headline was there for
all to see and just in time for Christmas:
"More than 9 out of 10 Americans had premarital sex!"
This finding was based on research done at the Guttmacher Institute in
Of course, the story behind
the headline deals with the pervasive availability of contraceptives in our
society, which foster widespread promiscuity under the false assumption that
"safe sex" does no harm to either party, both of whom have
intentionally separated fertility from self-centered "fun." And if
nature should reassert her God-given end, well as the secular thinking goes,
then abortion is also available for the asking as the "ultimate"
contraceptive (which, by the way, always does harm).
But are the presumptions
behind these last assertions really true? Let's look at the facts:
1) Currently, 60% of all
marriages are preceded by cohabitation (and there is no reason to believe there
is much of a difference among Catholics). Yet, more than half of all
cohabitating unions end before marriage. Of those who do marry after
cohabitating, 46% of those unions are likely to end in divorce.
2) Studies find that
cohabitators are unequally committed. Typically, but not always, it is the
female partner who has to endure poor communication, unequal treatment,
insecurity and abuse. One can speculate that such inequality is rooted in the
uncommitted person's view of the other as an "object" to be used,
rather than a person to be respected.
3) 40% of cohabitating
households include children. But 50% of these will have broken up after five
years, placing those children at risk both emotionally and economically.
Even the secular world of
university life weighs in with some provocative information to question the
status quo. Dr. Miriam Grossman, a psychiatrist at UCLA, has just published a
book entitled, Unprotected. In this work, the doctor chronicles the negative
impact that casual sex has on many women:
increased stress, eating disorders, depression as well as temptations
toward suicide. All this, she says, is reflective of a "hook-up"
culture that considers sex a form of recreation. In one chapter, a high school
girl is quoted as telling her physician, "Why, doctor, do they tell you
how to protect your body - from herpes and pregnancy - but they don't tell you
what it does to your heart?" Dr. Grossman concludes her arguments by
asserting that society spares no effort to warn our youth about the dangers of
smoking, of saturated fats, of osteoporosis and of a lack of exercise, but no
one warns those who desire to be mothers to plan their careers around the unavoidable
decline in their fertility after age 35.
Last November, the United
States Conference of Catholic Bishops approved an excellent (in my opinion)
brochure entitled, Married Love and the
Gift of Love. It explains in a question and answer format what the Catholic
Church teaches about the tremendous human, God-given gift of our
sexuality. Some excerpts:
1) "A husband and wife
express their committed love not only with words, but with the language of
their bodies. That "body
language" - what a husband and wife say to one another through the
intimacy of sexual relations - speaks of total commitment and openness to the
future together."
2) "When married couples
deliberately act to suppress fertility, however, sexual intercourse is no
longer fully marital intercourse. It is something less powerful and intimate,
something more "casual"
. . . The total giving of
oneself, body and soul, to one's beloved is no time to say: "I give you everything I am - except . .
. "
3) "A couple need not desire or seek to
have a child in each and every act of intercourse. And it is not wrong to have
intercourse even when they know the wife is naturally infertile . . . But they
should never act to suppress or curtail the life-giving power given by God . .
. "
4) "With NFP (Natural
Family Planning), spouses respect God's design for life and love . . . NFP does
not change the human body in anyway, or upset its balance with potentially
harmful drugs or devices . . . it leads couples to show greater attentiveness
to and respect for each other."
5) "Recall the words of
Christ, repeated so often by Pope John Paul II:
"Be not afraid!" The
Church's teaching on marital sexuality is an invitation . . . to let God be
God, to receive the gift of God's love and care, and to let this gift inform
and transform us . . . "
For more information on the
USCCB document, on the Church's teaching or on Natural Family Planning, please
go to www.usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/.
Planned Parenthood, one of society's greatest promoters of promiscuity,
wants you to believe that NFP is the same as the old "rhythm"
method. It is not! Don't be fooled. Investigate, study and pray. There are centers of instruction for NFP in
every area of our Diocese. The testimony from couples who are using the method
are very positive. I believe that couples planning to be married in the
Catholic Church should be strongly encouraged to attend a full program to learn
the principles behind NFP.
Some may fear that the
widespread sexual promiscuity that characterizes our secular American society
is just a fact of life to be accepted since the genie cannot be put back into
the bottle. But I do not believe that.
We all know moments when the
natural rhythms of our bodies are in harmony: after a good night's rest, after
an exhilarating athletic contest, in the midst of a fine meal with good
friends. Just so, there is a natural harmony between the procreative and the
unitive ends of the marriage act in sexual intercourse. As love and marriage go
together, sex and procreation are similarly joined. That is the way God
intended it from the beginning.
Disrupting the natural harmony will only bring heartache and
unhappiness. But working to achieve that natural harmony is not only a formula
for closer personal intimacy, but for greater spiritual growth besides.
May God love you!
Falta Mucho por Recorrer
Por el obispo John C. Nienstedt
El pasado mes de noviembre, la Conferencia de Obispos Católicos de Estados
Unidos aprobó un folleto excelente (en mi opinión), con el titulo Married Love
and the Gift of Love. Este folleto
explica de manera, pregunta y respuesta lo que la Iglesia Católica enseña sobre
el gran ser, el regalo dado por Dios sobre nuestra sexualidad. A continuación
algunos extractos:
1) "Un esposo y su
esposa expresan su amor incondicional no solo con palabras pero con el lenguaje
de sus cuerpos. Ese "lenguaje corporal" – que la pareja se comunica
el uno al otro en su intimidad – habla del compromiso íntegro y franqueza hacia
un futuro juntos."
2) Cuando los esposos recurren
a la anticoncepción, no obstante, el acto sexual ya no es un contacto marital
completo. Es algo más "casual/no planeado"…Cuando uno da el todo de
uno en cuerpo y alma, a la persona amada no hay tiempo para decir: "Yo te
doy todo lo que soy –excepto…"
3) "Cada vez que los
esposos tengan una relación intima, no quiere decir tener la necesidad o buscar
tener un hijo. Tampoco es incorrecto tener relaciones intimas a pesar que la
esposa sea infértil por naturaleza…pero nunca deberían esconder o eliminar el
gran don de vida dado por Dios…"
4) "Con PFN
(Planificación Familiar Natural) los
esposos respetan el diseño de vida y amor creado por Dios …de ninguna manera
PFN cambia el cuerpo humano ni altera su estabilidad con drogas o dispositivos
potencialmente dañinos…al contrario guía a las parejas para mostrar un mejor
respeto el uno al otro."
5) "Acordarse de las
palabras de Cristo, así como decía tan frecuentemente el Papa Juan Pablo II:
"¡No tengas miedo!" La enseñanza de la Iglesia sobre la sexualidad matrimonial
es una invitación…deje a Dios ser Dios, recibir el regalo del amor y cuidado de
Dios, y dejar que este regalo nos informe y trasforme…"
Para más información sobre el
documento del USCCB sobre la enseñanza de la Iglesia o la Planificación Familiar
Natural, ir al www.usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/. Los centros de servicios de
salud de planned parenhood, uno de los promotores más grandes de la sociedad
cuanto se refiere a la promiscuidad, te quieren hacer creer que PFN es el mismo
viejo método del "Ritmo." ¡Pues no lo es! No se deje engañar.
Investigue, estudie y ore. Hay centros de instrucción para aprender más sobre
PFN en cada área de nuestra Diócesis. Los testimonios por parte de las parejas
casadas que están usando el método son muy positivos. Yo creo que las parejas
que desean contraer matrimonio en la Iglesia católica deberían asistir a un
programa completo para instruirse sobre los principios detrás del PFN.