Teaching the truth and understanding it

 

by Professor Janet E. Smith

 

Spouses using NFP find that the method helps them learn to communicate better with each other -- and abstinence gives them the opportunity to do so. As they learn to communicate their affection in non-genital ways and as they learn to master their sexual desires, they find a new liberation in the ability to abstain from sexual intercourse.  Many find that an element of romance reenters the relationship during the times of abstinence and an element of excitement accompanies the reuniting. 

 

Self-mastery

They have gained the virtue of self-mastery since now they can control their sexual desires rather than being controlled by their sexual desires.  Women using NFP generally feel revered by their husbands since their husbands do not make them use unhealthy and unpleasant contraceptives. Men using NFP generally have greater self-respect since they have gained control over their sexual desires and can now engage in sexual intercourse as an act of love not as an act of mere sexual urgency. A proof that NFP is good for a marriage is that whereas in the U.S. over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce (and it is safe to assume that most of these couples are contracepting), very, very few couples who use NFP ever divorce; they seem to bond in a deeper way than those who are contracepting.

 

Church teaching whys

The Church condemns contraception not because it wants to deny spouses sexual pleasure but because it wants to help them find marital happiness and to help them have happy homes for without these our well being as individuals and as a society is greatly endangered.  Section 18 of Humanae Vitae states:

 

 “. . .it is not surprising that the Church finds herself a sign of contradiction - just as was Christ, her Founder.  But this is not reason for the Church to abandon the duty entrusted to her of preaching the moral law firmly and humbly, both the natural law and the law of the Gospel.

 

“Since the Church did not make either of these laws, she cannot change them.  She can only be their guardian and interpreter; thus it would never be right for her to declare as morally permissible that which is truly not so.  For what is immoral is by its very nature always opposed to the true good of Man.

 

‘True civilization’

“By preserving the whole moral law of marriage, the Church knows that she is supporting the growth of a true civilization among men.”

 

In teaching that contraception is intrinsically immoral, the Church is not imposing a disciplinary law on Catholics; she is preaching only what nature and the gospel preach.  By now we should have learned - the hard way - that to defy and overindulge our sexual nature, to go against the laws of nature and God, is to inflict terrible damage on ourselves as individuals and our society as a whole. 

 

Professor Janet E. Smith is at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, Mich. Syndicated by www.OneMore Soul.com, this column is licensed by Catholic University of America.